


Too Much to Ask

by Tookachonceforstylessmile



Category: Narry - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Always, Camille is here but like very briefly, Little Fluff, M/M, Narry - Freeform, Narry is end game, also a bit of bad words in case you don't want to read those, basically just Harry and Niall being Harry and Niall, but like little you can feel it but not, did i mention I am bad at tags, little angst, not good at tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 11:26:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13293861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tookachonceforstylessmile/pseuds/Tookachonceforstylessmile
Summary: Basically Harry thinking the song is about him.





	Too Much to Ask

**Author's Note:**

> Its supposed to be after the LA Concert and I might just be the worst procrastinator ever so I am sorry about that. Also I am pretty bad at summaries and story telling. but like It comes from the heart so maybe, hopefully if you can get past the bad writing and try to understand my rambling you might just like it a little.

“You seem nervous. I  haven’t really seen you nervous, like ever. Why are you nervous? Should we be nervous?” Adam asked.

“No, no of course not. No need to be nervous.” Harry answered staring at his phone, something he had been doing for the past hour. He had been staring at the five words on the screen and he couldn’t help it that yes indeed he was nervous.

“Then why are you?” Mitch asked beside him.

“I’m not”

“Stop shaking your leg then.”

“What?” Harry asked as he looked down at his fidgeting leg, traitor he thought. Giving him away so easily.

“Energy” Harry said. “I’m just ready to go out there.”

“Right” Adam sid looking over at Mitch. Mitch just shook his  head, he had known enough now that if Harry didn’t want to talk about something he was good at deferring attention elsewhere.

“It's gonna be a good night, yeah” Harry said getting up from the couch. “Going to see Lou and start getting ready.” He walked out of the room and headed over to his own dressing room. Lou was already waiting, going through her phone.

“Ready love?” she asked as Harry walked in the door. He nodded and took his seat.

“What’s on your mind?” Lou asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Nothing much”

“You’re pretty quiet tonight.”

“Am I?” he asked smiling at her through the mirror. She gave him a serious stare back.

“Is it the guest out there tonight?” she asked going back to work on his hair.

“It’s LA after all” he said. “Jeff sent me a list, you know of people who will be here.”

“No, not the list. I know you, that doesn’t bother you. I have a feeling it's only one that does.”

“Mac” he said smiling weakly.

Lou rolled her eyes. “He told me he is coming”

“Mac?” Harry said raising an eyebrow.

“Shut up, you know who I’m talking about.”

Harry looked down at his phone and opened up his screen. The message was still there open, staring at him. 

“We haven’t talked in awhile. Last time was a brief text saying congratulation on the album.”

Lou continued her work staying quiet. He needed to get this out, this she knew.

“I shouldn’t be nervous, right? I mean I am not nervous. I’m not, just you know it's a bit overwhelming. Like I am overthinking this right? I am.” He said answering his own question and shaking himself out of his thoughts.

“Love, it will be fine.” Lou finally said.

“Yeah” he answered still staring at his phone as the shaking of his leg began.

“You haven’t answered his message, right?”

“How do you do that?” he asked.

“What?” she laughed.

“Just know things.”

“I know you and I know him. Both idiots.”

“Hey” Harry exclaimed.

“Just answer him will ya.”’ she said as she finished the last touches on his face and walked out the room.

Five words  _ Excited to see you tonight.  _ That’s all it said and it had Harry in an inner turmoil. Did he men excited to see me, just me? He thought. To see me perform? He wasn’t sure how to respond. If he knew the full meaning of that then maybe he could answer appropriately, maybe even a little flirty. But with this he wasn’t sure. He decided to play it safe.  _ Wonderful _ he responded and hoped it wasn’t too much but not too little. Hope it was just enough.

 

\---------

If he is truly being honest, that was harder than he thought it would be. He was fine but there were some songs that made his stomach twist and turn just knowing that he was out there watching. Listening. He wanted to say his name and acknowledge that he knew he was out there, though hard to see in the deemed lights of the venue he still could feel him. He missed feeling that tethered feeling of something holding him close. As soon as Harry walked off stage he checked his phone, maybe, possibly he truly hoped he had a message. Maybe he would stay for the after party. When Jeff had suggested an after party he wasn’t sure he truly wanted to do it  but now if  _ he  _ was going to be there he was happy he had agreed to have it. Hoped Lou or Jeff or anyone had told him about the party.

No messages.

He walked through the hallways greeting people saying his  _ thank you’s _ to all the congratulations of a great show. He stepped outside only to be greeted with applause and more congratulations. He smiled and continued with  _ thank you’s _ escaping his lips. He scanned the room, looking at each face briefly.

Suddenly he was being hugged tightly. “You were so good.”

_ Shit _ he thought, he had forgotten she was here too. “Thank you” he said as he tried to end the hug, being proved a bit difficult as her arms circle tighter on his neck. He pulled back from the hug again, she did release her arms this time. She smiled. She was nice.

“You were so good” she said again beaming.

“Thank you for coming.”

“You know I wouldn’t miss it.” she said.  _ She is nice  _ Harry thought.

“Excuse me’’ Lou said coming up behind Harry. “Sorry to interrupt, Mac wants to say Hi.”

“Sure” Harry nodded. “Excuse me Camille”

“Yeah, no of course go.” she said. “Wait do you mind if I tag along?”

“Uh, yeah, no sure come on.”

Harry looked Lou who just shrugged and smiled.

Never did Harry ever think that in all his life he would be talking to people he idolized as a young boy some even calling them his friends, like Mac for example. Met a few years ago and now he is a great acquaintance he sees from time to time. Not best friends but a friend for sure. He stood there talking to Mac and then to anyone else who came up. He spotted Mark on the other side of the room. He was sure that if Mark was still here then he was too. As if on cue he heard him. Heard the laugh he had been missing so. He couldn’t help but smile just listening to him. Someone moved, Deo maybe Martin, Harry couldn’t tell. As he moved it was like a shock to his system. Blue eyes met his across the room. Harry literally felt and heard his intake of a sharp breathe. Smile. He smiled. That small almost shy smile he had missed. He watched him head over to the bar. Alone.

“Right, Harry?”

“Huh, what?” he asked looking around. “Yes” he said not really knowing what he was saying yes to and truly it didn’t matter, not now. “Can you please excuse me a moment.” He was on autopilot now, walking through the crowd. Not wanting to be rude  but he needed to make it across. He gave everyone smiles as he crossed them. He hoped Camille had stayed behind. He reached the bar just in time as he saw him turning to leave.

Would it be too much to just grab him, pull him into a hug and just hold him? Hold on to him for as long as he would allow him to, forever. As all his moves today Harry decided to play it safe.

“Hi Niall”

“Hi Harry”

They  just stared at each other, clearly both lost on what to say. On what to do. Or maybe it was just each other taking the other in, every aspect of their features they both hopefully had missed. Blue eyes meeting green ones. 

Niall cleared his throat “Maybe we should move away from the bar, blocking everyone’s way.”

Harry nodded and followed Niall to a high table nearby and stood next to him, watching the crowd in front of them. Niall placed his drink on the table and placed his hands in his jean pockets. Niall was equally nervous Harry realized, hands in his pocket was a dead giveaway. They were in LA after all so it was not because of the cold.

“I’m glad you came” Harry finally said, inching closer to Niall, allowing their shoulders to touch. Niall didn’t move and Harry let out a small sigh of relief.

“Yeah?”

“Yes” Harry said.

“Me too”

Niall brought his drink up to his lips and sipped a bit. “You, um, you looked good up there.” He said as he wiped his hands on his pant leg.

“Thank you.”

“I always wondered what it would be like watching you do your own thing and how it looked from a fans point of view.”

Harry smiled and looked over at Niall who kept staring forward.

“Not like I wasn’t before but I think you made me a fan. It was, yeah it was a good view.” he said smiling. Harry bit his bottom lip and couldn’t help the blush he felt creeping on to his face. He placed his right hand on the side of his body. The warmth of Niall’s body centimeters from his. He inched a bit closed and he could see Niall noticed, watching his eyes dart side ways to see. Niall made no effort to move. Harry hooked his pinky against Niall’s. Niall cleared his throat.

“I meant to reach out much more soon that today, but ya know..”

“Yeah, me too” Harry said. “How’s the tour going?”

“Good, yeah. I think.”

“You sound great.”

“Thank you.”

“I mean you have always sounded great.”

Niall just hummed beside him.

“Would it be too much to ask” Harry cleared his throat, “if I was to come to a show?”

“Niall snorted beside him. “No, just let me know when.”

“Is it too much to…”

“Harry”

Harry wasn’t sure when he would have another chance to get answered and he needed them. Things had been eating at him slowly day by day.

“I don’t want to assume but the song, is it like, you know.”

“Harry, we said we wouldn’t ask”

“I..I’ve missed you.” Harry whispered. He wasn’t sure if Niall heard but then he felt Niall squeeze his pinky in return under the table.

“I..yeah, me too.”

“Can you come over?” Harry asked.

“I..we..” Niall let go of Harry’s pinky bringing his hand to run through his hair. Brown it looked so good on him, Harry thought. “The boys are with me.”

“Right” Harry said trying to press down the hurt he felt in the pit of his stomach.

Niall grabbed his drink off the table. “I should go.”

Harry grabbed his elbow to hold him still, “Niall”

“You said...we decided it would be better like this.” Niall looked down at his feet. 

“Niall” Harry started to say again

“Your, um, your friend is coming.”

“What?” Harry asked confused.

He took Harry into a quick hug. “Great show, H.”

“Hey” Camille said stepping beside them. Oh, Harry thought, this friend. He had forgotten they weren’t alone. 

“See ya” Niall said turning to leave.

“Niall” Harry said grabbing Niall’s arm. Niall turned and smiled. It was a forced smile.

“Let me know when you want to come to a show Harry. Have a good night.”

“Thanks Niall, for coming. I’ll, uh, I’ll see you soon.”

“Sure, bye pet” Niall nodded and walked away as Harry’s fingers still burned with the touch of Niall.

****

_ They both knew this day was coming. Niall had been preparing himself for days, weeks since they had talked about it. Didn’t do much help, knowing didn’t make the pain any less. If anything it made the pain just a bit more. It was decided. They had both decided it was for the best. To go their separate ways. Become individuals, not only musically but now this thing, this relationship they had built a bit for the past couple of years needed to stop. Harry had brought it up first, of course he did. Niall agreed, of course he would. How could he not? As Harry laid there with his hand wrapped around Niall’s waist, his head resting on Niall’s chest, Niall couldn’t help but pull him closer. He wanted to keep him there for as long as possible. He wanted to tell him to so many things, tell him how much he truly loved him, tell him to stay. To change his mind, that they could work it out. Long distance relationships are not ideal but they could make it work. He would make sure of it. He wanted to ask him why couldn’t they at least try? Why did it have to end? Did he not love him the same way? He knew Harry like no one else did but sometimes Harry had those times where he would get lost in his own head and as much as Niall tried to know everything there was just things Harry kept to himself. Private and all that. He thought there were past that whole private part when they both fell into this, this thing they became. Remembering everything from the beginning the small little touches, reserved smiles and looks they had for each other, their first kiss. The feeling he had when they finally kissed still brought those butterflies to his stomach. He had never felt anything like that with anyone else before. If he was being truly honest with himself he has been in love with Harry since the beginning. It took Harry a bit longer to notice Niall not that Niall wouldn’t have waited forever until Harry noticed him. Back then he wondered if Harry ever would notice. But even now, he knows he would wait. He can hold onto that feeling, that feeling he felt years before. _

_ “I will always love you pet” Niall whispered. He knew the night and his room would keep his secret. They always kept his secrets. _

 

****

_ It wasn’t like Harry didn’t feel anything for him, because of course he did. You can’t just give someone so many years of your life and then leave and feel nothing. Plus it was Niall, Niall would always have a piece of his heart, well truly Niall would always have his whole heart. But what if long distance became too much? What if it just didn’t work and they both ended up resenting each other? Harry couldn’t live with the thought of losing Niall and if it meant going back to a simple friendship then he would at least take that. Take that over not having him at all. Harry just knew himself and he knew what was coming after this break. He would be gone for periods of time, he couldn’t just make Niall wait on him. He wanted Niall to also have his break, musically. He already knew how amazing Niall was at writing, he had seen it in that journal he carried around. The journal just like Harry’s though to Harry his words had no comparison to the way Niall would write. Niall was a bit reserved at times when it came to his emotions he didn’t express them much but damn could he write. That’s where all his feelings were, in that journal. Harry almost caved in one night. Caved in to the desire when Niall was out and let the desire to know every word that was written but he knew better, he couldn’t do that to Niall. He had to allow Niall to want to share that part of him with Harry when he was ready and Harry hoped that it would’ve happened by now. But it didn’t. Even tonight, their last night together, he hoped Niall would maybe fight a litte for them, for him. Why would Niall just cave in so easily? How is that he agreed to end things? Maybe he knew Harry a little to well and knew he would most likely be living around Harry’s schedule. Harry had always been selfish, that he knew of himself. So yeah, maybe it is better they are ending things now. Taking a break and all that. A hiatus. They would be back and part of him hoped that Niall and him would also be back when the band eventually did, because it would be back. They have to be back. Harry pulled Niall’s body closer to him, he could feel Niall’s heartbeat under his fingertips. He would miss this the most, laying on Niall’s chest with Niall’s arms wrapped around him. It would be alright, he thought as the heaviness of his eyes became unbearable to keep them open, trying to make the night just a little longer. Sleep took over as he felt Niall pull him close, maybe just maybe Niall was also awake, also hoping this night would be a bit longer. That night, like most of his nights, he dreamt of Niall. Niall asking him to stay, Niall telling him he loved him. “I will always love you pet” Next time around Harry would do better by Niall, because Niall deserved better. _

_ \------- _

 

“Harry?”

“What?” he said turning to look at Camille sitting next to him. 

“Do you want to go tomorrow?”

“I don’t know.”

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Nothing.” he said as he looked out the window. Niall had called him  _ pet _ , maybe there was something still there.

“You’re staying over tonight?” Camille said placing her hand on his thigh as they pulled up to her driveway.

He heard it, the melody coming out of the radio. Was this the way of an answer to his own question? That maybe there was something still there.

Niall’s voice cutting through the speakers. 

“I, no. I can’t”

“You can’t?” she asked.

“I can’t” he said again. “Good night, Camille.” 

She only nodded as she got off the car. She was nice, maybe they could remain friends. But for now maybe he could still fix this.

.............

“I regret everything”

“What?”

“I regret not hugging you tighter, holding onto you earlier.” he said as he pulled Niall into his arms. “I shouldn’t have let you go. I regret what we agreed on. I regret it all. All of it.”

“Harry”

“I think about you, like all the time. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t.”

“Harry”

“Yes, I remember what we said but it was stupid. Worst decision we have ever made.”

“Harry you wanted this break”

“I’m an idiot Niall. I know I am and I know it was me who thought this whole let’s break up thing would work but it is fucked up you know. It's so fucked up we are not together. I am not over you either, if you know, you meant it.”

Niall pulled back from Harry’s hold. “Meant what?”

“You know”

“No, I don’t”

Harry pulled out his phone and pushed play. It's not like he has been listening to the song since it came out but well he has.

“Harry” Niall sighed.

“Oh god! It's not, it's not about me, I mean us.”

Niall pulled Harry by the arm. “Come on” he dragged Harry through the house to the back. As they crossed the living room Harry could hear conversations going on. 

“I’m sorry Niall. I didn’t mean to interrupt and assume.”

“Well you did, so.”

“I guess it was wishful thinking on my part.  God why am I always screwing up?”

“You’re not”

“But I am. It was that stupid dream I remembered from, from you know that last night.”

“What dream?”

Harry shrugged. “You called me pet earlier and it just made me think about it. How you were asking me to stay together, that we could make it work. Saying that you, that you loved me. That you always would.”

Niall stood there frozen, Harry had heard. He had heard him that night. 

“And now I go and mess things up again, we don’t really talk as much anymore though you keep saying we still do. You have seen Liam and Louis more during the break then when we were in the band. I just really do miss you Niall.”

“Harry, I, I miss you too pet.”

Harry smiled and Niall couldn’t help but pull him into his arms. Those butterflies always coming back to life. “You were right, though.”

“What?” Harry said pulling back. Niall guided him to a lounge chair by the side of the pool and sitting next to each other. It was now or never, Niall thought. He had hoped Harry would someday come back to him and if this was it then he had to let him know. He took Harry’s hand in his, locking their fingers together.

“The song it is about us, about you.”

“Yeah”

Niall smiled. “Yeah but there is more”

“Oh”

“The dream. It isn’t a dream. I mean it wasn’t a dream. I thought you were sleeping, I just thought if I said it outloud even if it was just to the dark room that it would be like I tried, but I should’ve said it to you.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Harry, you said we should go our separate ways. I just didn’t think you and I were in the same page emotionally and I would hate it if I made you take pity on me and keep at a relationship you no longer wanted.”

“Truths?” Harry asked.

Niall nodded.

“I wanted to keep the relationship. I just didn’t know how and it scared me that what if was to end and if we did not end it in a good note that we would eventually drive each other crazy and resentment would kick in.”

“Resentment?”

“Niall, I know myself and I can be pretty selfish. I knew how my schedule was going to be, you were still deciding if you were even going to eventually, if ever, do your own music. I know how great of an artist you have always been and I had a feeling you would want to try things out on your own some time but I didn’t want you to give up on that because of how selfish I am. I think you would of not done everything you are doing now if we had stayed together.”

“But you don’t know that Harry. I am pretty selfish myself. Plus so what if I wanted to take a break from music to be able to watch you do your own thing?”

“I just didn’t want to risk that happening and later you hated me for it.”

“But I wouldn’t of.”

“You could’ve.”

“Well whatever, what was done is done.”

“Are we done?”

“You are here now, does it look like we are done.”

Harry smiled. “I am sorry Niall.”

“Well we both have our music out now, tours are well on their way. So if anything things are more complicated now.”

“But now we know.”

“Know what?”

“That well it's fucked up we’re not in love” Harry said cupping Niall’s cheek as he brought their lips to connect. A slow, drawn out kiss. Just the way their first kiss was.

“I love you” Harry whispered.

“You.. I..I love you too.”

“So?” Harry asked.

“So, what?”

“Niall James Horan, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“Shut up”

“That’s rude Niall, I am asking you a serious question.”

“Do you think we can make this whole long distance thing work?”

“Yes” Harry said with assurance. “I mean I know it won’t be easy but I know we will work it out.”

“Then yes.”

“Yes what?” Harry said raising an eyebrow.

Niall rolled his eyes. “I want to be your boyfriend” he said as the pink on his cheeks spread down his entire face to his neck. “Do you want to stay over tonight?”

“Can I?”

“Of course, love.”

“I won’t be intruding on lads night?”

“You already have.” Niall chuckled.

“Oh, right.” Harry laughed. 

 

Things take time to come about but now with Harry laying next to Niall with his head against Niall’s chest and Niall’s arms wrapped around him he knew this is where he has always wanted to be, where he was meant to be. 

“Oh and Niall, you should also know that I too would drop everything and come get you out of jail also if you ever needed me to.”  Hearing and feeling Niall’s laughter was also one of the best feelings Harry could never get enough of.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about all that. Also sorry for any mistakes I am bad at editing too.


End file.
